Upside Down

So had a wonderful start to the month. I got a great opportunity to work with a company located close to my home. It is rated highly by the "Great place to work" institute. So I was really thrilled. They have asked me to join their team by October end. Couldn't ask for more..Really!

But last week, things literally turned on their head. On Friday after waking up, I had the worst feeling as my head was spinning like a top. No I wasn't drunk! The doctors have diagnosed it as "vertigo" and have put me on meds. I was so shaken up by this episode that am really starting to think if the "long" hours at work led to this new development. Even worse is the fact that I can't take a day off. Even on weekends! It's been a month I have been working non stop and I feel like its been a harrowing affair. 

The meds are pretty strong and feel drowsy. So as of now working from my home. But my boss is insisting I come to office. As of now, there is no way I can travel even a bit. My body has become very sensitive to noise. Even running commentary on tv/radio is driving me nuts! Sudden movements are a big cause for concern as it derails the vision completely.

Hoping for some sane moments for the remainder of the week! Hope I can last next couple weeks without getting too bogged down by all this. Hoping for the best for the battle ahead!

Ciao n Peace.

Edge Cases

It's been raining heavily in Mumbai past couple of days. I have been lucky to avoid most of the harrowing times that other office goers go through since I have been stuck at office most of the time past 3 weeks. Its been crazy since I spend most of the time at office and even after reaching home have to check on work sometimes.

Just waiting for the current project to be done with. I just hope I can last next 2 weeks. Since they are going to be very critical at work and also for my health. Health wise I am almost at the point of losing it all. The fatigue and weakness that I was experiencing yesterday was phenomenal but I am still "hanging in there" like always. A days rest today really helped to catch up on my sleep. I was sleeping till almost 2:30 PM today ! So much for enjoying weekends ! Had a good time with friends at night today. So getting ready for the monday morning blues ! Unfortunately there is no time to waste so have to catch up work pretty quickly tomorrow. No time for friendly banter or water cooler "talks" with other ppl for now.

Hope DM reads this post and stays away for a while!

Ciao n Peace.
 

Just another day in the park

It's been a while since I posted. It's also been a while since I had a rest day ! Last couple of months have been very hectic for me. I am involved  in a project where my involvement is neck deep and there is no way I can back out now for another couple of weeks. 

Health wise I was doing pretty bad as I was facing with fatigue issues all summer. After a night's rest, I would wake up feeling very weak in the morning. This has been going on for a while now. My doc changed my meds and somehow it still persisted. I feel taking time off work pressure could somehow ease it a bit.

Lately I have been thinking of starting my own consulting or doing some freelance work rather than working in an organization. But somehow the roles & responsibilities and work environment at offices is infectious and can't do without it! So for now sticking with my job for another couple of months.

Right now I could do with a break for couple of days, maybe go out on a vacation. But its rainy days out here. Traveling becomes too messy and visibility during driving affects my vision and don't want to put too much strain on myself for now. So might wait for monsoon to finish off and then maybe a long overdue road trip would be just right.

Been pretty busy on weekends as my niece would be around. Or would spend time with friends on movies & outings. Also had to work on couple of weekends , so that pretty much messed up my timelines.

But a car drive with open windows during a drizzle with my favorite music playing on helps to deal with all the stress ! So far so good for now.

Ciao n Peace.

Work Update

So it has been almost 3 months now, since I rejoined work. Things are looking pretty good. At least I have regained my confidence that I can work coupled with rest on weekends. Yes, it leaves me with hardly any time for other commitments. But that is something I always should have prioritized earlier as well.

So in this short time, I have already worked on 2 projects and helped a ton of people. Just can't believe what was supposed to be a temporary thing to help me get started, has helped me immensely in my professional life.

Working with DM is not an easy task like say climbing stairs :P But really helps with the satisfaction at the end of the day, of having accomplished something important. My work profile is such that it always ends up with lot of stress, long working hours, more communication with people compared to others in the team. But this time around, I was up for it and tried to keep stress levels low and that helped me some what to get into the "groove".

Health wise, I have been able to recover quite well. Usually after work, I feel a lot of fatigue. But ample amount of rest, music, playing guitar, yoga / meditation has helped me some what. I have observed bit of muscle wasting and scared of it, but doctors aren't too worried about it. I might have to do some physio therapy or exercises on my own. Since my current work place is pretty far from the main road and since some times the elevators don't work here! Yes I some times climb almost 3 floors ! So I have started driving down to work. It's just a 15-20 mins drive and get to park very close to the office. But that doesn't help with the exercises bit. Since taking a walk after reaching home is kind of a power drain. But climbing three floors is almost like punching in the stomach ! Leaves you breathless for a while. Need a good bit of chocolate bar & coffee to bring me back to my senses !

Enjoyed my birthday last week and had a great time with friends at a barbeque place near by. The food was awesome and now worried about putting on weight ! Since been to the same place twice last week :) Planning for a road trip some time in coming weeks. Only if I am up to it. Two of my very good friends haven't been to any road trips since Dec, 2011 after which I had the relapse. We had been to a beach resort then for snorkeling / scuba diving & visiting old forts and watching dolphins in the sea ! Hope to plan something as exciting in coming days.

Ciao n Peace.

Tough times

So its been almost two months since I rejoined work. Initially I was able to cope with the work timings and had a nice routine going on for me. But since last couple of weeks I am back at it again. Started feeling tired like, all the time. I was really worried I wouldn't be able to handle work any more. But somehow managing to scrape through. Work has been very hectic for me. I had to work on weekends couple of times. 

Its tough getting back on the job. I had already refused few projects due to work location and was running on thin ice so had to comply with my current project demands. Hopefully the worst is behind me. I feel better when I have taken rest or had enough sleep (9-10 hours). But sometimes it becomes difficult with all the chores and office work. But hanging in there. Not much to say really other than work,rest and work again !

Ciao n Peace.

Day of the Rising Sun

Yoohoo , I am back. Today I was at my peaceful best. In terms of mood. I swear everything was so calm, I could literally meditate standing in the middle of a busy road ! For starters, my health returned something back to normalcy, that is just DM stuff to deal with. I felt very fresh and felt really energetic.

Ended up the day taking a long walk, also exercised a bit after coming home. I NEVER exercise after work. Although feeling bit rundown now ! But worth every effort. Great day today. Have a little sniffle so popped some "more" pills. Looking forward for tomorrow.

Ciao n Peace.

Deja Vu

I probably have written a post with this topic before ! I can't remember. I've almost posted a 100 posts so far ! Wow. To begin with, I am not the kind of guy who goes about writing stuff. That's the last thing anyone can expect from me ! But writing helps. Not just writing about DM, but even when learning new things. I follow a blogger/eminent person in my area of work regularly. The one for whom I had almost planned a trip to another city last month. Well he said that as a "homework" you should always write down stuff that you don't have time to ponder upon. So later when you are free, you should revisit those thoughts and try to make something happen out of it...or something similar. Well I'm not so good at all this..putting it up in words.

So coming back to the post, it is really about my work-health life. I started work this week. To start with the positives, the work environment is so cool .. of the highest standards. One of the best places to work (or relax :D). For the first time in many years I was able to leave office by 6:30 pm. I am not used to early working hours though (read 9:30 am). This sounds so much like the place I used to work two years back ! Only downside was, that two days at work and I wasn't keeping well. Had cold, fever and that probably resulted in weakness, fatigue. The weather here is too cold these days by Mumbai standards. Often leads to muscle stiffness & pain.

Things have improved a bit in last day or so. But spending 9 hours in office is proving to be a tough nut to crack. But I think it's probably more to do with the cold/fever thing that was going on. Hopefully next week should be way better.  I am upbeat today. However had to cancel a party I had planned for my parents tomorrow. Since, the part planner can't drive around town arranging the luncheon ! But will definitely book for next week. Feels bad to cancel out on planned parties. But no one seems to mind, so even I don't mind :) I did order a different cake for my parents this time around. The cake is called - Mission Impossible. It was definitely impossible to have it in one go ! Will probably need a lot more helping tomorrow to finish up the cake. Nothing's impossible right !

Ciao n Peace.

A Day without pain & Rescue operations

Well I will start with something that sounds really good. A day without pain ! 

I had never been to a spa before, I always felt they were a total rip off. But the muscle pain,stiffness had really worsened due to winter, so decided to give it a try. I opted for a traditional thai massage followed by aroma therapy. OMG! The pain was completely gone by the end of the session. My neck was stiff, my quadriceps were screaming because of the muscle wasting, winter stiffness and my hands were being their usual self ! But everything changed at least for a day ! I think a visit to a spa is a must every month or two ! 

I have doing pretty well these past few weeks. I have to join work by Jan 09. I had been to my doc today and he was pretty happy. Winter is causing a havoc. But I found a way to reduce trouble by closing by bedroom window. I like open areas, so my bedroom window is always open and have a small mini garden outside my window. I have planted some good looking flower plants ! So closing windows, actually sounds depressing. But warm hands, legs help to reduce the pain/stiffness greatly. We don't keep heaters around here since its like getting baked in an oven throughout the year in Mumbai.

Oh and the rescue operation wasn't really related to DM but a cat. A cat had climbed over my AC near my bedroom window. There was a small ledge which had been enclosed. Somehow while escaping from other animal(s), the cat must have climbed up. Initially thought that there would be some kittens or something. Since the cat wasn't leaving the place. I tried to provide a makeshift ladder from a bamboo, but it still wouldn't budge. Tried to entice it by keeping fish, milk, wheat bread, water nothing worked. It just wouldn't come down. Finally had to call a friend who after almost 2 hours got it down and safely tucked away near by. I got myself hurt in the process and now have a small wound near my elbow that won't heal ! But the cat is safe and sound. Gives a visit every second day.

I am not really a cat person. In fact have some strong allergic reactions, if the cat is too fussy and is looking for attention from us. I like dogs. But coming back to the point, my friend requested me to keep the cat at home for few days since it looked bit frightened by some animal, mostly a male cat. I just couldn't afford to ! Just spending couple of hours and I had a small wound ! I can't afford to waste my energy on something that will run all over the place and have me clean up after it. I am feeling bad about it, since the cat seems to have taken a liking or prolly just wants some food as it comes mewing around my place ever so often !

Ciao n Peace.

The year that was

I was planning to write something before the year end. But as luck would have it was super busy. Not with work or myositis. But with family. My niece is here, that means that no time to spend on my computer. Since nursery rhymes and kid songs rule the roost !

I was able to follow some reading stuff over my android mobile / tablet. But its not fun typing a blog post from there. This year was an experience that I won't forget for a long time.

To give a gist, started of the year on a high. I was leading a team on one of the important and successful projects and got good appreciation from colleagues over one of the project achievements. I had completed exactly an year then. Working 10-12 hours & traveling 2-3 hours daily, 5 days a week. Weekends were spent hanging out with friends, going on road trips, traveling some more. This followed till May. Life was good professionally and personally. For once, there was a settled feeling and then .. DM was back.

I had a relapse after a very long time. I mean I was on meds all this time but the situation wasn't bad. In fact, before May I hadn't felt better in my life. I could walk for miles without getting tired. I don't know if any DM patient could harp about that to anyone ! Anyhow things started with extreme fatigue and slowly progressed to muscle weakness, muscle pain. By August, it was too much and had to quit my job in September. Felt weird sitting at home, was not used to it.

Since then, things have changed a bit. The muscle pain is almost gone. There was muscle wasting and maybe that combined with calcinosis is causing some muscle pain/stiffness coupled with cold weather currently. But I am in a much better position. So much so that my doctor gave me the green signal to rejoin work. So have found a hopefully suitable work place near home. Its about 15 mins drive from home. 

I am really tired today and maybe I am thinking very straight. But would have loved to dwell on lessons learned this year. Since there were quite a few.

I was able to think over things a lot these past few months. Years back, I had promised myself I would enjoy little things in life. I always followed that principle and it helps a lot to keep things in perspective. I am happy that even after this minor setback of the relapse it is firmly implanted in my head ! So would like to say a prayer of Thanks to God. I have become a lot more spiritual since last 2 months. Thought a lot about meditation and yoga. Although I don't practice it quite often. Would love to spend more time when I start working. I wish there was a real quite place that I can go to near my home. I find city life too chaotic for meditation / spiritual endeavors.

New year resolutions ... well lots of them. But don't want to jinx 'em. Although I feel that new year resolutions are meant to be broken :) As long as they are harmless.

Ciao n Peace. Happy New Year !

You have got to be kidding !

How does it happen all the time ! For all my job interviews to date, I  have always scraped through without any preparation at all. My resume states that I have worked on a ton of things, of which I hardly remember anything at the back of the mind. Yeah my memory sucks ! Its just so foggy sometimes. Wonder if its the meds. But anyway, coming back to the point, I almost some how manage to pass the round. 

So Tuesday was the big day. I reached there at exactly 11AM. Then after getting a pass, yes you need some kind of a security pass to get into the big Corporate SEZ park. I had to walk almost half a km or so. I was so freakin tired by the time I reached office. I was almost out of breath ! Was not sure if I could get a drink of water in the middle of the interview. The interviewer went on and on. We did have some different views on lot of things, but he seemed to like that. So bottom line I cleared the interview and definitely have a job to go to.

I had to cancel the other interview due to fatigue and felt bad about it. Got a lashing from the hr agency that had referred me and rightly so. By then I was really exasperated since I was tired by all the walking so let it go and just apologized and gave some lame reasons.

Might get the offer letter by tomorrow or so. Funny thing was few years back I had made up mind to always work for small/mid sized companies. Since I find greater job satisfaction and motivated people working at such places. It so happens the company which is giving me the offer is a small company but the place I would be working that is the client site would be a MNC ! I would be working at the MNC office only and not the smaller one. That really stumped me ! In cricket terms, thats a googly ! Will make the decision after checking out the offer letter of course :)

Also it so turns out the reason I was looking for the job so urgently was because of the home loan and couple things I had planned to spend next year. I was not able to withdraw some big dough that was stuck in mutual funds. As soon as the news of the interview success came in I came to know that I would be getting the funds soon ! Few  more points to thing about then all good stuff of course. It's rightly said when it rains, it pours !

Ciao n Peace.

After Effects

So attended the big wedding yesterday. Had a pretty good time. Didn't really feel that tired yesterday, just had a lil hiccup. I fell while getting down stairs. There was a kind of crowd gathered up ahead and was talking to my friends. I was wearing a traditional outfit and some slippery footwear I guess ! So went down like a ton of bricks ! Hurt my left elbow and legs.

Today my whole body is hurting, not from the fall. Just spending the whole day out yesterday seems to be tiring today. Muscles have stiffened also had some chores to do. Left elbow that I hurt yesterday is still sore and hurting. 

I slept through the morning and got up only by 2:30 PM ! Just couldn't wake up early. Spent the next couple hours doing all the chores. Also, have two big interviews tomorrow. Now it seems like its not the best option to go out there and work. But I think I will give it a shot and see how I feel in a month or two. Hopefully things should be fine. 

Nothing much to add, even fingers are hurting a bit today !

Ciao n Peace.

Mixed Feelings

Last couple of days I have been having a time warp kind of feeling. Things are moving so fast. First I was super busy attending my doctor's appointments, did some shopping and traveling and then my good friend's wedding is up this week. So been busy attending some functions.

My leg pain has gone up. Also due to the chill in air, my muscle stiffness/pain has also increased. However my rheumy feels it should be all right if I restart work. So had my first interview today. I have kind of mixed feelings. I was definitely rusty and it doesn't help if you try to smart mouth the interviewer. But I couldn't help it. The questions that he was asking were dinosaur questions and I was trying to relate them to current situations / projects. I am not fond of people reading and talking about the same old things. This is a time for a change and starting new paradigms. People should start questioning age old practices and think for themselves for once ! 

I thought he was bit of a stuck up. Anyhow it was a good experience. Now, I know when not to act smart :) Sometimes I feel I should stay my ground and believe in my convictions and let the rest fall into place. But then just a bit of compromise can make things a lot easier. One thing DM has taught me is, instead of taking the long walk across the park always try to jump across the fence and take the shorter route ! Time to apply it for other "walks" of life.

So tomorrow there is going to be lot of dancing around to do at a function. Not sure if putting on my dancing shoes is going to help a great deal. Maybe it's time to get the Vit D & B12 shots that my rheumy suggested !

Ciao n Peace.

Party Pooper

I had cold feet the next day after booking the conference tickets ! So have cancelled my plans for the trip :|

I thought about the travel plans and felt that I just couldn't make it by road or train. Air travel would have been super expensive this late ! I will probably spend it on a great holiday next month.  Already started to scout locations for the road trip. Came across one wonderful website that allows you to go camping with all modern facilities present (read loo). Some of the locations have great options like kayaking or white water rafting (across river), fishing and lots of barbeque on a lake/river front.

Had gone for a community function today. Felt really great, hadn't been to such a function in last couple months. Legs are screaming for rest though. Was standing for almost 2 hours !

Ciao n Peace.

Hectic week & Some time to rest

So last week was a very hectic week for me as I had to go out ever so often. Was really worn out and feeling tired. It was followed by an eventful weekend. Eventful because my niece was here ! I know handling a kid should be child's play. But not her ! She really needs some one to talk to and play all the time. She is just two years old, but talks like a real wise person :) I always listen to the advice that she has to offer. That is to play nursery rhymes all the time and talk non stop throughout the day !

I also had a cousin around. So we had some fun time, all the cousins. Ended up eating some fried food ! Could not miss that trip to the McDonald's for my niece. Also had some awesome Chinese food from my favourite restaurant. Even had some chaat , but without the fried stuff. Finally we rounded off by having some home made fish delicacies.

So finally all the excitement finished by today afternoon. Had a very sore body and just slept it off today evening. Was supposed to meet friends for dinner, but postponed it for tomorrow or later. Missed the Liverpool game, but could watch some part of the F1 race. Was rooting for Alonso, but guess Vettel deserved it I guess. The Red Bull racing team had a much more consistent car out there than Ferrari. That summed it all ! Saw Schumi one last time in a race. Cricket was topsy turvy today, as England, to be more precise KP & Monty beat India in their own game today. Started off with KP showing histornics like Sehwag and then Monty teaching the Indian spinners a thing or two on how to bowl on this track. Game is England's to lose now. 

Would have loved to watch the game, but weekend tickets seemed full. Also the mad rush at home did not allow me any time to get out. Now, it looks highly unlikely I would go for the game tomorrow. My legs are still hurting and elbows & shoulders too. I really deserve a good nights sleep, followed by noon time sleep till tomorrow !

Ciao n Peace.

Winds of Change

Well not really change in medicines. But the medicines seem to be working ! Finally !! So my blood reports have come down a bit. CPK is now hovering about 588 & liver enzymes have reduced marginally since last check. Also the muscle pain had come down couple notches. But winter seems to be starting here and that means muscle stiffness and pain might accompany. Already feel the stiffness & pain in quadriceps. Stamina should improve as the blood work is following an optimistic pattern since last couple months. Hopefully by Jan, should be able to work.

By winter I mean by Mumbai standards. Since winter here should be a pleasant day in any other part of the country. But I am so used to this warm, humid climate that even bit of chill outside often leads to dry skin, bit of cold, .. Will try to remain warm as much as possible. Yesterday spent almost all day in my doc's visit. I had also had a very long walk the other day when I didn't get any transport to the lab where I get the blood tests done. So my legs are screaming since 2 days. Also today for some car insurance thing, had to get my car chassis number which was on the car floor below driver's seat. Ended up stretching my legs too much I guess. 

Trying to concentrate on couple of things, but somehow not finding enough time. Hopefully will have my schedule sorted out starting tomorrow. Also, soon there is going to be Ind - England game in Mumbai soon. Hope I can go for at least 1 day there ! Lets see. Might be risky, but would really love to spend a day in the sun watching cricket !

Today was a special day for all the victims of the 26/11 terror attacks. As Ajmal Kasab was hanged at 7:36 AM at Yerwada jail in Pune. Finally some sort of a closure for all the victims who lost their lives on that fateful day 4 years ago and their relatives. I hope this is just the first step before other terrorist groups are shut down / destroyed by proactive governance.

Ciao n Peace. 

Happy Diwali

So this week we were celebrating Diwali, the festival of lights ! So didn't really get time to post anything new. I used to get wiped out by evening and didn't have the energy to do stuff that I normally enjoy. So Diwali in Mumbai means lots of shopping, exchanging gifts with family n stuff like that. So didn't really buy much coz wasn't in the mood to splurge on myself. But did lots of shopping nonetheless ! The day we went shopping our table at the hotel was half full with all the shopping bags :) This was the best Diwali ever ! I was so busy that I had no time to think about the pain, weakness n fatigue ! Even burst few fire crackers with my niece as it was her first Diwali celebration with crackers! Also I think I trained her to be not afraid of the loud explosive crackers :) Loved making those funny videos with her !

So since my last post, I had been to a physio. I had consulted him 15 years back. He is a jolly person, who will talk with you continuously while doing exercises. I enjoyed the session. But was very tired afterwards. Eventually had a lot of joint pain and so decided not to pursue any more physio sessions going forth.

My health seems to have been improved since I have started going out more often. I know deep down there is no point in moping around at home and have to keep with all commitments. But going out ever so often makes me wiped out by evening/night. So now only thing that is left to improve upon is my stamina (can't do any activity for more than 2-3 hours, feel really tired afterwards) & some pain (elbows, knees,thighs). I somehow feel that the pain is related to the muscle wasting. Since there is hardly any muscle padding left on my hands ! Yeah they have become really thin. All my veins stand out ! So when I am sleeping have to be really careful otherwise end up hurting my hand ever so often. So whenever I get up, not only am I groggy but have immense pain in my elbows & biceps / wrists sometimes.

So going out had nothing to do with work. But mostly outings with friends, relatives who have been calling me since past couple of months. I feel really guilty when I try to avoid other people's calls or give a very lame excuse. But I sometimes don't have the strength to explain the same ol' story about the relapse, current situation, n all. So I usually try to answer in monosyllable or end up telling half truths :( Not the best of times for sure.

But I try to make most of the outings. Also like to help out to buy cars or help get their broken down car repaired ! Yeah seriously ! I mean I am the last person you would want to be pushing cars n stuff. But I am really slick with towing agencies, mechanics and have couple of buddies who get things done real quick ! Also, been driving a lot lately. Nothing makes you forget about illness more than a good long drive with your favourite rock music on !

Have really cut down on my computer time now. Only check up couple times on FB, etc. No more chatting, no marathon movie/tv series sessions any more ! But did watch couple of movies in theatres. Caught skyfall the other day. I was bit disappointed. The movie was really good but thought there were not enough action set pieces like the train chase sequence in the beginning. The train chase was epic though ! In sports, F1 race at Abu Dhabi was awesome. Iceman speaking on the radio " Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing" and "Yes Yes Yes...." was pretty hilarious. The India - England cricket series started today and Sehwag gave a rousing performance at the start. I am telling you, "it's going to be Indian batsmen Vs Swann". Unless the decide to bring in Monty. After watching Englands first innings I can probably give a prediction of the scoreline for the series. But as of now, if all the pitches are going to be turners like this one. God help the Pompies ! Am sure they will be bundled out for low scores once Ashwin, Ojha have the ball and Yuvi is no mug either. Looking forward for Day 2. 

Have a doc's visit on 20th. Also need to get an appointment with rheumy in next 2 weeks.

Ciao n Peace.

Stormy Times

This week the super storm "Sandy" that hit the US & today "Nilam" that hit Tamil Nadu in India were in the news for most days. I can't imagine how horrific it would be to be in midst of such storms. My prayers are with everyone affected by them.

This week I did travel a bit, after the adventures of Thursday I was tired for about a day or two. But still managed to go for outings with friends. Past couple of weeks, I was trying to lay low, since I often get very tired after going for such outings. But this last week, just couldn't avoid all those invitations. I drove a lot and really felt great after the drive. I also had to visit my native place last week, but I had to cancel out. Since I was not feeling super confident last week about travelling across states and doing all that flying around and  road journeys. Most of my family was present for the occasion, guess will have to wait for it till next year. Have another dinner invitation on Saturday, trying my best to somehow dodge this invite, but probably will have to make this one last trip.

All the travelling and outings has taken a toll on me. My diet plans have flew out of the window. Since last 2 days was feeling very uneasy and it eventually led to that panic attack kind of feeling. Most times of the day I feel pretty ok to do everyday stuff. But when I get into that "panic attack" mode (don't have better words to describe it), I feel very weak and need to eat and drink a lot to get out of it. Maybe it is something to do with my eating habits or I don't know. Need to ask my doc about it. Mostly the doctors don't reply to such queries and just tell me that things will be fine after the change of dosage.

Been exercising pretty regularly, and do need to see that physio  therapist asap now. There is no way to check muscle wasting, since my hands,legs are pretty thin since my DM diagnosis. But my weight reduced by about 4 kgs. Will need to keep a check on the weighing scale. I rarely ever check my weight, since its usually constant.

So last week saw couple of movies - Chakravyuh & Chittagong. Chakravyuh was pretty bad - very weak storyline and horrible acting by couple people. It was based on the naxalite movement in India which according to our PM is the no 1 threat to the country. Expected a sensitive movie, but turned out to be more of a action flick with a weak plot & horrible songs. Chittagong was a sincere effort and I liked it, the story is pretty much true to life. So next movie to watch out is of course Skyfall as James Bond returns to duty !

Ciao n Peace.

Oouchh .. Legs On Fire

Today had a mini adventure. After spending time with my friends for dinner at a dhaba yesterday, thought of doing something fun. So I decided to get some physio equipment. As mentioned before, this equipment was available at only one store near Marine Drive. 

So started with a train journey. Since I left at afternoon around 1:30-2, thought that it would be quite easy to travel. However getting tickets took me almost 20 mins. Now 20 mins is a very short time, but I had not anticipated the things that were in store ahead. So as usual the trains were bit crowded even in afternoon ! The train journey was about 45 mins. I got to sit for half n hour, so wasn't that sore. But when I got out of the train, I pulled my muscle and it started hurting while I was putting pressure on my right leg. Anyhow, after a short cab drive reached the place and got the things that I was looking for.

I got the following stuff -
- Thera putty (red colour - medium resistance)
- Set of 5 spring exerciser that can be used for finger exercises
- A massage ball , it is more like a pointed ball. Wonder who uses it for massages ! Its basically like a stress ball, but with loads of pointed thingies like a back of a porcupine.

Then I was off. I was really wound up, so thought I would catch an AC bus back home. Even if it took an additional half n hour than train journey. Before that, I was feeling weak and needed some coffee and sandwiches ! I just remembered that "Starbucks" had opened up some where close by near Fort area. So took a cab there. As luck would have it, there was a huge line even outside the Starbucks Cafe ! Well thats  a first. Why do people stand in such a huge line for a cuppa of coffee. I joined the crowd! and stood in line for 20 mins or so for a cup of latte & "Corn brioche with garlic corn" ! Then I took off for the bus depot.

The bus depot was at Colaba and passed through Cafe Mondegar, Leopold. I was really tempted to make a quick detour, but had coffee instead for my parched mouth ! The most boring part of the day was to stand/sit at the bus stop for 45 mins for the bus to show up. The bus journey took almost 1 1/2 hours, almost twice the time of train journey. But I felt pretty relaxed in there.

Trouble started when I reached home, as my legs were literally on fire. My legs are paining a lot. I don't have any meds to reduce the pain. Should have asked my doc for contingencies. Have been sitting at my desk ever since. Now I am feeling guilty, as I have been told not to tire myself. Will probably sleep through night and noon tomorrow. Although, must say that exercising your hands using "thera putty" is fun ! Worth the effort or not , only tomorrow will tell !

Ciao n Peace.

Clay Play

Since May my health was in a downward spiral. But I noticed that since last 1-2 months, there had been lot of muscle wasting around my hands, thighs,etc. As a result, I get muscle cramps/pulls easily. I tend to walk very fast, since I have been a habit of travelling to & fro from railway stations this past 1 1/2 years. So I often tend to pull a muscle (quadriceps) now and then when I go for evening walks. I have to really concentrate to walk slow. Also, have stopped listening to music while taking walks since I usually end up having this unconscious urge to again speed up while walking.

Well anyway what I am leading to is that I have to see my physio therapist again. I know, I mean I have been at home so why can't I exercise on my own right ? But I feel that the stretching exercises, light exercises , yoga that I am doing is not correct or something or not accomplishing the purpose. I end up feeling very stiff. So I might go for consultation. Only that my physio is out of the country. So might have to visit another one. Still not decided yet. More importantly I need some special exercises for grip / hand muscles. Since I almost drop things when I am holding with my fingers.

About hand / grip exercises, I remembered that about 15 years back when my muscle strength was at an all time low. My physio therapist had got a special clay used for grip exercises from US. It came in different colours , with each colour referring to a level of resistance. I just googled and found that it is indeed "thera putty" and might be available somewhere here in Mumbai. Will definitely try to get it this next week.

The one shop/facility I found is near Marine Drive. Marine Drive brings back lots of fond memories. Whenever we would go up to Marine Drive, we had to go to Colaba. Colaba is this awesome place, where there are many cafes where you can just relax and spend your time chilling out with your friends and drink beer, lots of it ! There is this Cafe Mondegar which has a jukebox and there is another charming cafe, Cafe Leopold (also in news coz of 26/11 terrorist attack). Further down the road, there is Gateway of India and the famous Bade Miya's & Baghdadi, both famous for awesome food - tandoori chicken, biryani ;) get it. Although I won't be doing all that stuff any time soon :)

Today was quite dull, nothing much to do in morning / afternoon. Mondays are usually better, since I have something new to watch on TV like Dexter, Homeland. So then in the evening I had gone for worship at this nearby Navratri celebration place where they have a wonderfully decorated Goddess Durga idol. Later did some guitar strumming. Well mostly exercises that help to loosen the fingers and some easy to pick tunes. Playing guitar has become much more difficult now ! Need to practise more often. Also watched a movie called "The Big Year" starring Jack Black, Owen Wilson & Steve Martin. I am a big Jack Black fan (since School of Rock ,Tenacious D,Be Kind Rewind, Kung Fu Panda). Nice movie on Birding (and I thought its called bird watching !), though rated poorly on imdb (6.1).

Ciao n Peace.

Life in a Metro - Mumbai Meri Jaan !

The hustle & bustle of life in a metro city like Mumbai is a far cry from the quiet, serene country side. Quite often people suffering from chronic ailments would prefer the quiet, serene surroundings of country life. Sometimes it just feels like running away from this maddening city life. This thought might have gone through every one's minds once in a while, chronic illness or not. But of course, the city life means access to top class medical facility & support for emergencies and a haven for career focused people. 

So here goes, some of my experiences and thoughts on living in Mumbai with chronic illness - autoimmune and another related to eyesight.

Travelling in Mumbai should be considered as a daily chore. It is an integral part and parcel of everyday life in Mumbai. Mumbai has got one of the best transport systems in  the country. It comprises of Railways (western, central, harbour lines), BEST bus service, rickshaws, taxis and coming up are the metro & mono rail services in next couple of years.

Travelling by Train : 
Picture this, if a train compartment can accomodate 60 people then here one compartment will contain 100 people. You have to count the people who have legs planted on the floor boards and rest of the body hanging outside ! So to get started you need to get your tickets, if you have a monthly pass then the time spent on long queues will be saved. Once you have your ticket / pass, get ready to walk stairs ! On an average you will have to climb about 30-50 stairs I guess. Then on an average you need to walk for at least next 10 mins through a slow moving crowd often being banged into by impatient folks. Finally you get to a railway platform, you need to get into a local train. For DM patients, this means stretch your legs and get ready to jump in to a moving train ! Well if not, like me get ready to stand for the rest of your train journey. So a train journey can be easily compared to a daily workout session at a gym for people with DM !

First thing You also need to learn while traveling is all the stations and your destination station appears on which side - left / right side. The new trains have now got a speaker system and a monitor that informs passengers about next station and sometimes even which side the next stations gonna be. Be ready to be shoved by the crowd ! Also thumb rule is to wear shoes, wear sandals/chappals at your own risk as some one might just step on you with spiked shoes ! Getting down from the train can be equally challenging task, as you have to possibly jump out of the train. As people will push you from behind and at the same time people getting into the train will push you in the opposite direction.

Anyways for my last job, I used to travel to Navi Mumbai from western suburbs so had to travel from western, central & harbour lines sometimes. That means, whatever I explained before has to be repeated 3 times ! On lucky days I used to go by a direct train to office in the mornings and got to sit, more importantly. One way journey takes about 1 hour 15 mins to my previous workplace.

Some incidents worth mentioning -
Once while getting down from the train, I kind of sat down at the door step as people were jostling to get in. One of my friends accompanying kind of freaked out since he didn't see me and thought I forgot to get down. Fortunately, I was able to leave in one piece but little roughed up. This happened when I was traveling after many years (after DM recovery) and had less experience traveling in crowded trains.
Once while getting down, the train was just slowing and some a$$*!*e pushed me from behind and I kind of jumped of a moving train. Luckily I had my cat instincts on and landed up on my two feet.

Both the incidents scared the hell out of me, but the fastest way to travel in Mumbai for long distances are trains so one has to live with it and get used to it. From all modes of transport, this one is the most challenging though.  

Travelling by Bus : 
In Mumbai, BEST bus service is present across on all main roads. If you thought the "RED DEVILS" refers to Manchested United, then think again !! Although the buses here are more like red beasts who will cut lanes at free will without being held by cops and freaking you out when driving. Along with trains, bus service is the life line of Mumbai. So when the last 20 auto rickshaws have refused for going to your destination, you can count on these red beasts (like in the beauty & the beast) to come rescue you.

I really appreciate the bus service in Mumbai. Come rain/nation wide strikes/ bandhs, they are always present on the road. Since, I have to wait endlessly during eveings/night time to catch a rickshaw, I usually prefer to go by bus. So then what's the downside ?

Well to get started, if there is a queue its not much of a problem. But people tend to just crowd on these bus stops in evening time. I usually get in, by the time all seats are full ! So have to stand for most of the journey. Most of the seats at the front are reserved for ladies/senior citizens/handicapped so rest of the few seats are on offer. I usually wear a messenger bag so thats my hands are free to hold on for dear life ! Since the bus drivers have a tendency to zip through the road. I usually get irritated by the bus conductors. Since some of them are cribbing with passengers all the time for change/to move,etc. But again can't blame them, as the bus are almost full during peak times. So usually have my ear plugs on to some music. Another problem, is that I don't see the bus number early due to eyestight. So often have to scamper to get in.

Auto Rickshws / Taxis : 
These are the best modes of transport for anyone. All the auto rickshaws/taxis are in a rush always. You don't mind it since everyone wants to reach home early ! Auto rickshw drivers tend to be smart a$$ most of the time. You have to ask atleast a couple of rickshaws till you get a ride. So evening time for me, it can be 10-20 rickshaws before some one agrees. But of late, a very cool thing of auto sharing has started, similar to a car pool. So atleast we get a ride early and at less cost.

Taxis are similar to autos, and are ready to come for long distances not for short. Since with the rising petrol prices, its not economical any more for them to go short distances. Also, air conditioned cab services are a big hit in Mumbai. Although pricey, its a life saver when you have to attend that "special" meeting at work or some place else.

Driving : 
This is my most favoured form of transport. One because I get to sit, two because I love driving. Challenges - well other than traffic that most cities are used to now, all of the above transports - bus,rickshaws mainly. They will drive you crazy as lane cutting is a comman practise here. In horrible traffic conditions, you often have to drive bumper to bumper against traffic coming from all sides at a junction to get through quickly. I drive a hatchback, which is very good choicefor Mumbai conditions.

Parking : 
Well like any other city, you need to be able to park in the shortest possible space. Also watch out for those tow trucks. I usually park very well, so this is not much a problem for me, but I am usually wary of those tow trucks now and then. Usually park illegally when I am getting those shawarmas from the deli in Bandra ! 

Weather : 
Mumbai weather is humid thats all I can say. We don't have much of winter. But its my favorite season, since on most winter days weather is pleasant not cold but not too hot. Summer is extremely difficult as energy levels tend to be at an all time low. Usually prefer to be in office during those summer months and travel mostly after its dark. So initially when I had the DM rash, it used to be very difficult to get out. Those were the school days, so mostly used to manage quite well. But now with the 2-3 hours traveling need to be much more careful. Rainy season is very messy. Rains can be unpredictable and often create a havoc for travellers. Most trains are late and get extremely crowded on harbour/central lines during rainy months.

Work : 
Work has been a mixed bag for me. During my initial days, I worked really hard for my internship. But was jolted back to earth when the failed me in the pre employment medical test. But since then, it has been pretty smooth sailing until this year when I had the relapse in May. Like in any other city, work here is not 9-6 anymore. To meet deadlines, you have to work past your shift timings. That means, often putting in 50-60 hour weeks. Last year and a half, I consistently put in 12 hours a day at work. Sometimes I feel that might have cranked up the DM inside me. But from now on, will definitely take care about it. Most office (those that don't have pre employment medical tests,etc) would often understand "invisible illness" situation if you explain them in a proper way. That means keeping a watch out about current circumstances and take a calculated guess who to explain it to. But at the end of the day, if you are leading a team or have major chunk of responsibilities for project deadlines then no one really cares about your illness and wants the work done by the end of the day. Often explaining your situation to collegaues will defintely help, as they will try their best to help you out. But while explaining it to bosses there is a fine line that you have to decide for yourself. This is one area, I have no answers yet. But I try to take things as they come and don't think too much ahead when I am working.

I find reading some blogs/websites on the internet very helpful while coping with work & chronic illness. There are some great life coaching experts out there. I mostly do reading online when I have doubts taking any particular decision.

Medical Facilities : 
Medical facilities in Mumbai are top notch I think. Although I was misdiagnosed for couple of months in '97. But then again it could happen to me if I were at any part of the world. As DM is not just another cold / cough ailment ! For eyesight, I had gone to Chennai to Shankar Netralaya hospital which is one of the best  eye hospitals in the country. But here in Mumbai, I have formed a circle of doctors, who are my go-to doctors in times of emergency. So I have my rheumatologist,  homeopathy doctor, cardiologist, physician (my family doctor), ophthalmologist (a very humble & kind man who had advised me to go to Chennai for Optic Nerve Atrophy diagnosis/treatment), ENT specialist for those cold/cough episodes that happen every season change & of course my physiotherapist (who is more of a mentor & gives great advice) !


Awareness about differently abled people : 
I think Mumbai folks are the world's most fearless people. With all the cultural / religous / ethnic diversity that we have, still manage to help total strangers when in need. So its a very comman sight to watch visually impaired people walking across Dadar station(one of the most crowded railway stations in Mumbai) ! Every person born in Mumbai, has that tenacity & will power to jump across all the hurdles and impossible situations thrown by the city. Although its not a very disabled-friendly city. Wheel chair ramps are not present in most important places. I remember when I was wheel chair bound, we had to build small ramps across all places that I used to visit. But again, people are willing to help and support total strangers here. So thats simply amazing. There are some very good NGOs working for the differently abled people here. Like when I was working at my previous company, we used to do CSR activities for a NGO that helped visually impaired children. These amazing children used screen reading software and could actually type and use the computer like any other kid. I hope more and more companies encourage their employees to do CSR activities. In fact, if I was the HR I would put it up as a KRA activitiy for the year.

Phew, so its been a long post. But these are some of the points I always wonder how people in different cities in India or other places react to ! Mumbai is one place I will always want to live at any stage of my life. The occasional road trip across country side always helps though !

Ciao n Peace.