I have been having a hard time since last 2 months on the job front. My previous employer kept me waiting for a month saying that although I'd not cleared the preemployment medical test, I was being considered for a contract position. After all this waiting when I called up my Business Unit HR few days back , he shocked me out of my senses.
He gave it to me straight, told that I could work for 3-4 months & maybe extend for couple of months until I find a suitable job. They are paying $|-|!t , not even 1/3 of what I was supposed to get. It surely wont be enough for me, considering all the retraining I might have to do. I am at a complete loss of words. I trusted my project manager completely and look where it has landed me into. He told that he would have a word with the delivery manager. I really don't want anything to do with this company any more. But am waiting patiently since I have to collect few cheques n documents before leaving. I have to put up with them for few more days I guess. I really feel like screaming at them.
More than the disappointment of losing a dream position I am feeling really sad about the current situation. I have worked really hard , completed all my courses, company training at the same time coping with the sh!ttiness of DM & ONA worked for an year at the same place and now they are declaring me medically unfit. I am not sad that I have to find maybe a better job, but the fact that all the hard work, physiotherapy & ignoring the symptoms to achieve my goals have resulted into nothing. I feel like my master's degree has been a waste.
Anyhow about my present situation, I have started retraining in another technology. I was working on an ERP which is being mostly implemented in all large organisations. Which means I might have to cope with the embarrassment of medical tests again if I search for a job in my current domain. I have made a promise to myself. Not to be humiliated by any such medical nonsense. I am going to clear these issues with the HR in the interviews itself. I do not want to work at any place which is not an equal opportunity employer. To hell with them.
On the health front, my cpk is high along with liver enzymes. More importantly my blood pressure has shot up. I have started new meds. For my eyes have started some natural sources of vitamin A & some eye care products. I am really stressed out right now & was wondering whether to take up a less stressful job for a month or two , which has nothing to do with my work tensions.
I have to give my project manager a call tomorrow. I really want to give a vocal bashing to the hr, chief medical officer & my piece of mind to my pm & pl and all those fools who made me work at my best while they were lazing around enjoying extra benefits. The more I think about my department , the more angry I get. Whether the innumerable calls I answered explaining them in detail regarding the business processes or helping them complete documentation for all the workitems, which wasn't really my responsibility or completing workitems in record time. I just can't let go off this frustrating experience.
I really hope I can forget this horror someday , look back and say "Never Mind". But till then its going to be hell of a mental struggle. I feel like a ghost, specially when I'm around friends during weekend. I do not want to spend cheery time putting up a smiling face. Its really not helping me personally. I really hope that my faith in all good things prevails. I try to look up on things I believed in when I was first diagnosed with DM. Signing off on one such thought that helped me cope with DM.
"Tough times never last , But tough people do !"
Ciao n Peace.
